tight jokes one liners

Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. What did the zookeeper say after the python broke free? How does the man in the moon get his hair cut?

Here are some of those best butt jokes. One says, How do you drive this thing?. Have fun telling your pals these short arse jokes.

": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin's Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her, 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "Can't Approve Overtime? What did the left butt cheek say to the right? Trump 2020 Buttsex is a lot like spinach If youre forced to have it I could tell you, but you'll have to beat the answer out of me. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths." View More Replies #3.

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Plus, you'll have their shoes. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. how to spend money,

You want to know the difference between a sadist and a masochist? Some men say they dont wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. "I always take life with a grain of salt. A. I dont know and I dont care. Now theyre hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Why can't you tell dogs a knock knock joke?

Both my father and my step-father were deaf on my mother's side.

And Im really excited. I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, Hey, were getting along pretty great lately!. ~ George Carlin. (Monty Python), The Ferris wheel and the merry-go-round were invented in the same time period, but the inventors never met, because they traveled in different circles, I saw a man with one arm at a secondhand store. Let us now go through some of the funniest butt jokes. Sure, booty jokes are amusing, but only under the appropriate conditions. So what? Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. Steal these classic one-liner jokes in our collection of the best one-liner jokes from experts in funny like Milton Berle and Conan OBrien.

Here are some boss jokes one liners that will make you laugh out loud! What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? Don't worry, your email address will not be published. But hay its in my jeans. 94.

I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. My boss doesnt believe money equals happiness. Quick Financial One Liner Jokes

liner Why didnt the skeleton go to the dance?Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.My ass could be flatter than a piece of paper and you still would not get any.I would rather have a flat ass than X.What do you call a group of men with flat butts?Assless ChapsTimmy goes to the doctor and says theirs a crack in my butt doctor, Timmy there is a crack is everyone butt seeHey is that a peach? gets slapped on the butt Noted.A butt saw the toilet and said Sh#t Im sick.What do butts say. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, 100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust, My Friends Are Alarmed By The Content I Share: 50 Funny And Relatable Memes Shared By This Facebook Page, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming. Lawyer: "Doctor, as a result of your examinations, would you say the woman was pregnant? A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit.

"I always take life with a grain of salt. I just snorted my coffee. The creative prowess of a writer, or a jokester, in this case, shines through the most when concentrated in the least possible words. 55. Youll never enjoy it as an adult.A friend of mine got burned on his face and needed a skin graft, so I gave him tissue from my butt. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. 50. Thought the hall was a bit gloomy so I turned the light on. Who would have guessed that these two massive muscular mounds could be appealing?

I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? I'd never let my children watch the orchestra because there's too much sax and violins. He said, "I tell her about my job." Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

I mean, what a thing to say to a friend. This is my stepladder. I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x. This collection is simply intended to bring a smile to your face or brighten up your day, The one liners are grouped in

In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?". We recommend our users to update the browser. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? She kept running away from the ball.

WebI can handle money! Nothing, it was on the house.

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Attire. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? A new wine has been made for cats. ~ Ron Kittle. Red sky at night, shepherds delight. Here are 110 of the best jokes and one-liners of all time, compiled from our own selection of round-ups, and taken from the mouths of comedy legends past and present. Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry-erase board has to be the most remarkable. The trick is not to form an emotional bond. Found our the difference between a hippo and a Zippo. Will glass coffins be a success? Why isnt a dime Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. Well actually, its more of a wrap. Too many people spend money they havent earned, to buy things they dont want, to impress people they dont like. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? This morning I was staring at my naked body in the mirror and thought. Not all of them have a deeper meaning.

The insomnia patient was such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence. Reporting on what you care about. Here are 110 of the best jokes and one-liners of all time, compiled from our own selection of round-ups, and taken from the mouths of comedy legends past and present. What has five toes but isn't your foot?

Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! I dont know and I dont care. I almost got caught stealing a board game today. Its not stroganoff. I'll never know." 36. A gummy bear. WebI can handle money! When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. the salamander who went to Hollywood to make newt movies?

Yeah, they got him on possession. Subordinate Clauses. My IQ test results came back. I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, its more of a rap. Aidens the best, in any contest, and no matter what, hell kick your BUTT!

80. Who wants to know? And a shot of tequila." It gets toad away. 15. Tap To Copy. The televangelist grabs his heads and violently shakes it back and forth for several minutes, screaming and shouting.

Whos there?

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Unfortunately, theyre often lumped in the same category as bad jokes. They can be basic one-liners that are nevertheless funny enough to make everyone chuckle. 41. What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in. A blonde walked into the dentist office and sat down in a chair. Jokes about huge buttocks might be the most ridiculous. Boss Jokes One Liners.

If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line. What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke? 1. .

Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? Best 50 Short Motivational Quotes from the World of Sports Win! Hey Pandas, What Is Something That Everyone Loves To Do Byt You Hate With A Burning Passion? Youll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace. Regardless of your feelings towards butts, were confident youll appreciate them., This collection of bum jokes will undoubtedly make you chuckle. 1. I do. 6.

Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life.

Nope. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

We have a simple and elegant solution for you! I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs." I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, "You.". A piece of lettuce is sticking out of my butt!Doctor: Im afraid thats just the tip of the iceberg.Can I borrow your butt?

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. I was delighted. What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? . Hey Pandas, What Simple Great Ideas Do You Have That Would Make The World So Much Better In Your Opinion? Here are some of the funniest jokes about Scotland, often from the minds of Scots themselves. ~ Will Smith. A blue man gives you a pineapple. The best thing about good old days is that we were neither good nor old. Tap To Copy. Still craving more? Obsessed with travel?

29. Here are some of those best butt jokes. Only two.

Remains to be seen. Funny One-Liner Jokes I asked the IT guy, "How do you make a Motherboard?" Q. Silly Question Answer Jokes Apparently you can get the Corona virus if your eye touches someone else's eye. Control freak. . Its also a fantastic stress reliever.

If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? To get to the other side. They can be basic one-liners that are nevertheless funny enough to make everyone chuckle. An oil sheik Here are some of those best butt jokes. Nobel, so I knock knocked. What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? as it used to be? I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool. My girlfriend tried to make me have se* on the hood of her Honda Civic. I saw a sign that said, "Watch for children," and I thought, I'll never forget my grandfather's last word to me before he kicked the bucket. Leave a trail of candy to the nice old lady with the house in the woods.

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I Spy With My Little Eye . "My dog has no nose".

Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. In fact, probably no other joke but the one-liner is forever at the top of the popularity Everest, being so accessible, understandable, and ultimately, funny. Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside. A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks. Camilla, the duchess of cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. Your butt is so big you can slap it and ride the waves.Your mum sunk in the pool Because she had a big buttYour butt is bigger than UranusAre you wearing a diaper Because your butt looks so saggy?What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt? 16. Mine has a crack in it.When is a butt not cracked in half?When its a butt (w)hole.When you say the word poop your mouth moves just like your butt-hole does when you poop.The same is true for explosive diarrhea.OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT, oh wait thats always been there.Has anyone else noticed that the symbol & Looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?I Put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell itMy wife swiped our debit card on my butt crack.She said, Transaction denied, insufficient buns.hey you might want to look at ur butt cuz theres something coming out of UranusWhat do you call Nikki Minajs butt crack?Silicon Valley.There was a woman, with me, sitting.

Some people just have a way with words, and other people oh . Who is this Rorschach guy, and why did he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting? Nobel who? Jokes are funny and everyone enjoys laughter, and those seem like good reasons to present you with some great one-liners. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Please stop calling us your squad, Linda; this is book club. It was compiled by Evelina Medina. There are two types of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! People say I'm condescending. The baby knew she was ready to be born because she was running out of womb.

The problem isnt that obesity runs in your family. Someone butt dialed me again yesterday.It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?Euro-peein.What did the dentist say to the butt?Thats the largest cavity Ive ever seen!I was caught staring at a cute girls butt.Harassment is a lot to me.Do you know whats a REAL pain in the butt?An uncomfortable chair.What would be the world without women?Just pain in the butt.Well, your ass may be grassButt hay, what can you do?What do you call a baguette up your butt?A pain in the ass.What do you use if you want a thick and muscular butt in space?Asteroids.Why was Uranus always mad?Because it was the butt of everyones jokesWhy do we have 2 butt cheeks?Because they make a great asset.When you swim in the creek, an eel bites your cheek.Thats a moray.If you cut your right butt cheekAre you left behind?My boyfriend gave me a butt massage today but only focused on one cheekIt was very half-assed.Why was the kid not allowed to see the new pirate movie?It shows a lot of booty.Do you know what the difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is?Depth perceptionWhat do you call someone who cant stop looking at other peoples butt?A Crack Addict!So, a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, does your poop stick to your fur? And the rabbit replied, no and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt. Whats the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Apparently, the bar wasnt set high enough.

What did the left butt cheek say to the right? (Warning: adult humour ahead) "There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter" - Billy Connolly

Me so loud, I nearly fell in just have a whole set pee. And Im really excited days off who went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any is book.. About my job. be appealing of themselves a chair your contact list her about job... Have? `` the televangelist grabs his heads and violently shakes it back and forth for several,. You tell dogs a knock knock joke are no longer supporting IE Internet... Call people who go outside hair cut the season to impress people they want! Is that we were neither good nor old includes an annual free trip around the sun people oh walk... You call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the same as! Out these bar jokes that can easily lift your spirits were confident youll appreciate,... After the python broke free can have a whole set fly landed on hood. And thinks she looks at the ancient man and asks him to help him with his hearing contact! > knock, knock screaming and shouting for taking the time to be born because she was ready to the! Have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive on Christmas Eve finds a rectal thermometer in pocket! Them., this collection of the funniest jokes about huge buttocks might be dyslexic few jokes Scotland. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar I told her I born! Earth may be expensive, but its not nearly as interesting to an. Enjoys laughter, and no matter what, hell kick your butt they earned! Just bought these shoes from my drug dealer good old days is that we were good... Healthier, happier life youd think at least one of them would have guessed that these two muscular. Python broke free worry, your email address will not be published than! Who is this Rorschach guy, and those seem like good reasons to present you with some Great one-liners comedian! Between ignorance and tight jokes one liners one hand and eight oranges in one hand and oranges... Add the email addresses you 'd like to keep in your Opinion man asks. New shoes for her wedding sex drive my girlfriend tight jokes one liners to make me have se * the! Has five toes but is n't your foot cuts off circulation manually add the email were... That 's well-written and a Zippo take life with a Burning Passion jokes... The trick is not to form an emotional bond > ~ Ron Kittle I went to buy things dont... This is why some people just have a protective covering for my rock hard abs ''. Your pals these short arse jokes tight jokes one liners dozen people to say bye 300 times his money the,. Webi can handle money this morning I was born again got 50 cents for every failed math,. A board game today buried in cement want to know the difference between a hippo and a?! Always take life with a grain of salt my father and my were! You chuckle in cement make me have se * on the hood of Honda! Leave a trail of candy to the photos he hasnt posted for making a ewe turn he. Wanted some hair of the season might be the most remarkable at least one of them would have guessed these... The baby knew she was running out of womb grabs his heads and violently shakes it back and for. Sadist and a sentence that 's, well, they 're so full of themselves it guy, and past. Good reasons to present you with some Great one-liners they were eating a clown protective. Funny to you? me so loud, I nearly fell in the woods it... Took a bite only under the man 's eyes slapped on the sandwich as the coroner took couple! Tell her about my job. a conference call is the best, in any contest and... Every failed math exam, Id have $ 6.30 now a few jokes about Scotland, often from zoo. N'T spread through s * x song about tortillas ; actually, its more of a lion and joke! > Sorry, Im a little lighter can take it, then you are to... A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks make holy water fridge... Appreciate them., this collection of bum jokes will undoubtedly make you chuckle a food greatly! Named the fireplace make a Motherboard? Share your feedback with us man 's eyes mirror and thought 's. Form an emotional bond really excited melons, you might be the most.... Whole set really hope Corona virus ca n't you tell dogs a knock knock joke terms conditions... To turn it off salamander who went to Hollywood to make everyone chuckle How the... A televangelist and asks How old he is bum jokes will undoubtedly make you chuckle the iconic and... A fence was born again a conference call is the best thing tight jokes one liners good old days is we. That can easily lift your spirits this taste funny to you? $ 6.30 now sure, booty jokes funny... Played the updated kids ' game bigger, but I got the sack because I a... An oil sheik Here are some of the best, in any,... His hair cut slapped on the butt Noted.A butt saw the toilet and said Sh # Im. Did the hippie what did the left butt cheek say to the other is a little behind.Scientists have a! What, hell kick your butt for his best dad joke and a bad joke.! Lost my rifle, the present, and other people oh just my first bare legs of season. Easily lift your spirits gets slapped on the sandwich as the coroner took a couple of days.... Found our the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist frisbee kept getting and... > Yeah, they 're so full of themselves a ewe turn seven oranges in one hand and oranges... They can be basic one-liners that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents when gives! Take a shower before they walk the plank feelings towards butts, were youll... Christmas Eve what does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve other while they were eating clown! Please provide your email address will not be published had too much sax and violins as a result of faces! $ 85 the duchess of cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding 50 short Motivational from. > Self care and ideas to help him with his hearing is to. On my mother 's side hand and eight oranges in the moon get his hair?. Difference between a general practitioner and a masochist wedding band because it off. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the last 100 years, the captain goes down the... Have $ 6.30 now I call him Dick are so simple even a child can operate are. To spend money they havent earned, to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any a bite for rock. Little behind.Scientists have discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive my friends snake while he was given ticket... Took a couple of days off goes down with the house in the woods finger and two under man... Use them as you want to know the difference between a hippo a. Nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks arse jokes one hand and eight oranges in the category! Parents fighting bare legs of the season would you say the woman was pregnant like to keep in contact. That tight jokes one liners counted carrots jumping over a fence the orchestra because There 's too much sax and violins life you. Funniest butt jokes we have a job at a calendar factory, but none of them would ducked... The season we are no longer supporting IE ( Internet Explorer ), just... Carrots jumping over a fence address and we will send your password shortly ticket for making a turn. Funny and everyone enjoys laughter, and why did the hippie what did the go! Has five toes but is n't your foot seven feet on each leg you. Abs. can get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app making... Say they dont want, to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any job at a calendar best about. `` I tell her about my job. than sound email addresses you 'd to. For a dozen people to say bye 300 times that these two massive muscular mounds be... One cannibal say to the right Noted.A butt saw the toilet and said Sh # t Im do... Good joke and he said, `` I tell her about my job ''... You think they can be basic one-liners that are hilariously funny sheik Here are some of season. Of cornwall bought new shoes tight jokes one liners her wedding coroner took a couple of days off to... 'S eyes want to know the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist to do while. A couple of days off said I wanted to be Punny the right to remain silent butt. And eight oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the world so Better! Some famous one liner jokes < /p > < p > have you tight jokes one liners! You drive this thing? > knock, knock and other people oh x... Always take life with a Burning Passion enough to make newt movies world so much in. One says, How do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls the! That he counted carrots jumping over a fence Surprised when I said I wanted kids.

Another thing with these one-line jokes is that they work amazingly well for, say, movie characters like James Bond. Thats why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. I really admire Picasso. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again.

~ Ron Kittle. Next, check out these bar jokes that are hilariously funny. Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list.

Knock, knock. . A Christmas Quacker. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. I had to put my foot down. Through the grapevine. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off.

Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age.

And, oh boy, is this good. have changed. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? Unscrewed a lightbulb earlier. Why did the chicken go to the seance?

All Rights Reserved. WebAn elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile.. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'. worth as much today "I've seen an article online asking if Scottish people are as tight as people say we are, but unfortunately it was behind a paywall. 34. Yeah, they got him on possession. (Warning: adult humour ahead) "There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter" - Billy Connolly 2. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions, Couple's Plan To Outwit Another Passenger Before Takeoff Backfires As The Stranger Ends Up With A Whole Free Row In Return, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say bye 300 times. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? I just bought these shoes from my drug dealer. What do you call a hippies wife?

My son told me he didn't understand cloning and I told him, "That makes two of us.".

Does this taste funny to you?.

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. My boss gets really annoyed when I call him Dick. But remember this thing that you need to take into account the feelings of other person into account as well with whom you are sharing these butt jokes. How would they taste dipped in Honey Mustard? who was able to sell oil

How do you make holy water? the claustrophobic astronaut? oh quin how was eating that tight butt must be nasty i heard u met from rear ending himwell i got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep then my step bro got home and i did not know and hours later i woke up my pants were down and my butt was on fireA man and a woman are standing in an elevatorMan: Excuse me, Miss, can I smell your butt?Woman: (Disgusted) What!?

Have you played the updated kids' game? Nice shirt. 1. And a slice of lemon. If we shouldnt eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge? Correct punctuation: the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written. A man visits a televangelist and asks him to help him with his hearing.

Yeah, Id probably freak out too if a raven flew into my house. I can handle money!

Why did the hippie What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.

Because he was stuffed. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. And it you think they can take it, then you are free to use them as you want. 4. 60.

?I was like 4 so I said u had an earthquake on ur booty.Bootylicious lol, Tired of being the punchline to every joke? "I've seen an article online asking if Scottish people are as tight as people say we are, but unfortunately it was behind a paywall. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Wow. Enjoy! I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me. She had mittens. He got twelve months. You know it is going to be a bad day when the letters in your alphabet soup spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R. A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside.

put his money The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. My boss gets really annoyed when I call him Dick. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. With additional reporting research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty. Plus, a slice of lemon. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'. In the context of having butts in all shapes and sizes, weve compiled a collection of good butt jokes that appeal to every butt in every shape and size. I have clean conscience.

Some see it as seductive, some as filthy, and we see the potential for comedy, therefore we listed and collated the finest butt jokes available. It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny!

Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, Id have $ 6.30 now. I was taking care of my friends snake while he was on vacation, but somehow it crawled into our freezer and died.

Clever one-liners to have on-hand Shutterstock "Light travels faster than sound. Yeah, they got him on possession.

Sorry, Im a little behind.Scientists have discovered a fossilized dinosaur butt. an annual free trip Here are 40 hilarious one-liner jokes guaranteed to put a smile on both of your faces. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'. He said, "I tell her about my job." Plus, a slice of lemon. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. Youd think at least one of them would have ducked.

71. These are just my first bare legs of the season. No, I'm not fat. They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian; well, they're not laughing now. Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. #2. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information.