They were together for 20 years. The guy was asking her if she'd told me about them being together in the past. You learn and you move on, together or not. also she didnt say it in a heated argument or something like it (even though that would be horrible too). Lawyer up, sleep on the couch, and prepare for the next phase of life. That's just an observation some of us women NEVER, EVER admit, even if things get incredibly ugly and there's a nasty split. Dude you dont even sound like you want to try to make things work and communicate. Reality is relatively subjective. Give her a chance to explain herself. Shes a natural; everyone loves her. I always jump the gun to end things with the excuse that I'm not married, but I'm not a great person yet. Agreed. It seems like divorcing before trying to fix it would be too quick of a decision. WebBasically, the title. To be fair, all the other advice he got was from 90 day fiancee. Theres this twilight zone episode where Anne is about to marry a nice guy, but the exciting bad boy convinces her leave him.

Turns out Im not the best sex my wife has ever had. I mean, do you have a dead bedroom? This friend is in a serious relationship, he kicked off the contenscious post. people always seem to forget that reddit is full of young people myself included that really dont have a lot of life experience and definitely dint understand the dynamics of 20+ year relationship and what a midlife crisis feels like. What did she say about it?

He seems to only comment and agree with those who agree with him, and hes not giving context on her explanation or why the whole family would side witrn her. But it isn't about you. I'm close to OP's age and just recently got some great advice from a guy who has been married for 50 years: "There will be times when one of you falls out of love with the other, and that's OK, so long as you don't both do it at the same time". I cannot updoot you hard enough, it's not just saying she feels like she settled but saying she thinks about her ex EVERY DAY. You go girl!!

you're right, it must have been terribly hurtful for OP, and counselling (individual and/or couples) would be beneficial. Tom probably isn't the same. There are some things that can never be unsaid or unheard. From what Ive been told by friends and family my wife and Tom had a hot and cold volatile relationship and he was not the best to her (cheating, controlling). Its not uncommon to look back and think of what might have been. What could she possibly say to rectify this? Clearly intended as said.. not some passionate response.. Not just settled, but that she thinks about her ex every day even after 20 years of marriage. Someone literally said she was, "worried she's past her prime."

THIS! Why not? I've been put into antidepressants and feel better and calmer. Perhaps you both are better off. It's not fair to her or to your children. It would seem they either settled for their partner and want to downplay it or know they were settled for and are desperately trying to tell themselves that isn't a problem. Cheaper than a divorce and it will quell the familys hysterics. You are leaving her because of a thousand moments over the past 20 years that made you feel unloved, lesser-than, and rejected. Relationship counselling is the wisest move. Dude, you DESERVE love and happiness in your life. Communicate with her and tell her how much she hurt you dont just shut down. It's like you've picked an arbitrary point where it's ok to divorce. To see that some wounds don't heal. Yeah, my parents divorced a couple years ago after 47 years of marriage. Have you had issues in the marriage prior to this point?

She says he 'doesn't excite her the way her ex does'. None of this is diminish how crushingly upsetting a thing to hear that is, and OP is entirely justified in the reaction he has had. What the hell side is there? It doesnt make them an awful person it usually just means they miss the excitement of that time of their life and that youve still got that idealized person in your head. It is. On the other hand, Tom? Did you never have a "what could have been"-moment? Saying you settled for a person you spent 20 years with, and STILL reminisce and regret not being with someone else for TWO DECADES is a pretty fucked up thing to say. Don't stay with people that don't actually value you.

I know it's a tense moment, but both of you need to have a proper dialogue before proceeding with divorce. There are many reasons people stay. Day. If that's the case they both have a way back to the life they want to have but they need some third-party help to get everything out on the table and come up with a plan on how they're going to solve this together. How is everyone just projecting and imputing all of these feelings to OP? Who tf thinks this if their husband of 20 years Id actually be creeped out if I were Tom. That's disturbing. Her one conversation is not necessarily the way she has felt for the entirety of your marriage. You don't want to take action out of emotion that puts you in a worse position. My husband makes my coffee every morning, even though he doesn't drink any himself, because he's a fucking delightful human being like that and it reminds me why I chose him every day.

(I know these are broad generalizations and they dont apply to everyone, but we have tropes for a reason). That comment is just plain insulting, especially overhearing it. She hasn't cheated on him yet so she's still committed. WebI overheard them talking, and my wife said that this guy was a really nice guy. Hearing your SO say that about you, about your marriage, it would just eat away at you. I understand that leaving a marriage of 20 years isnt an easy thing, it requires a lot of thought and will power, but I dont believe OP is leaving his wife for no good reason. Did your just need an excuse? It would be a conversation and work and reparations/forgiveness/trust rebuilding.

But I'd still have a hard time saying "I wish those 5 years never happened.". They'll get old or fat.

If that were me I would have said the same thing as OP did. Simple as that. I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. She thinks about him everyday!?! It would kill the trust, the intimacy, the connection, the sex. As long as we're both in the fight she knows I'm not going anywhere. Not alot but if you find anything more message me and ill add it to the list. Dead bedroom and she wouldn't talk about it. Thats far more than sufficient reason to divorce, full stop. Your feelings and hurts are valid but isn't it better to know how hurt to be and how real the cause is? So my ego has been devastated and I really dont know how to handle this. As if the last 20 years was a lie. But really, thats bullshit. She said she loves him but he doesn't "excite her." One day, I overheard my mother-in-law talking with her sister about how much she was dreading me going out to dinner with them that night. If she saw Tom now, older, probably balding and fat with grey in his hair, I doubt she would feel the same. And we all know why Tom made her feel that way. As if he would have her. I say that you went looking for reasons because in her own words she said you just didnt excite her, she said she loved you and although she thinks of her ex, he never took her serious, so you did, now she wants you to make her feel wanted and not like she settle and you dont care anymore. I feel the same way about my wife, she is the best person I know, I appreciate every moment with her, but if she ever says that, it would all be over in an instant, I think your wife / husband should be your best friend, lover, the person that you trust the most, maybe other people have other opinions on this, but at the end of the day, the OP have the right to decide if this is worth a divorce and I think it's perfectly understandable. Married 20 years. She could scream at me, insult me, ignore me but that, no I'm not a strong enough man to unhear that. It's romanticizing the past and is something that comes up in therapy a lot. Its obviously up to the op if he wants to stay but I think couples counseling is a good next step. Boom, it would be over for me too. Men always get a beating in these subreddits for having feelings and for wanting something better than being settled for. I also put a small umbrella just in case it rains. I think this expectation that our partner's be perfect absolutely 100% of the time and not make any mistakes whereas they have to understand every single one of our own mistakes is the reason why the divorce rate in America is 39%. I can tell you that six years later it still hurts and I'm still angry. Redditors, if you have a problem with your SO, for the love of God address it immediately. Nobody is so perfect that they dont give or receive a little criticism now and again, warranted or not. Don't tell me you've gone through 20 years and never once thought for even a moment that you'd made a mistake. This is the correct answer. OP can do both but one could salvage both his feelings and his marriage, and one is a unilateral path towards divorce. It could be that OP's wife has come to a place in her life where she is not happy with herself. Move on. What is wrong with people?

After 20 years! I can say for sure, that it would be really weird if she thought about a Tom, every day, for the past 20 years. No shit. If she's thinking about this now and saying it within your earshot there's obviously a problem here you're not mentionning. Your wife may be having a tough time with your marriage right now and is remembering the beginning of your relationship differently than what actually happened. What if you are trying to wear a prettier mask on reddit, appealing to the prettier views , the prettier ideas, to make a prettier face? You seem really hurt, and betrayed even by this statement She's remembering that experience with Tom from her 20's when we were all hormones and still in that 'wild phase'. They keep you for comfort but want to play games too. Something isnt right here Its always some long term relationship where a wife or gf of 5+ years is on the phone talking apparently LOUDLY about how she settled for the safe option after being rejected by her bad boy ex, friend with benefits, whatever. Please stop arguing with people who agree with you. I think counselling should have been a first move, not divorce. The "advice" in this subreddit is so one sided it's ridiculous. I have to agree with you before even reading his post history. She lied because she loved you. And people romanticize the past. Maybe you think he's supposed to stay around longer and "fight" for his marriage, but what is there to fight for? Once the safe beta male realizes hes a settled down safe option he leaves his old washed up wife who apparently is now cursed to be alone because no one ever dates women over 30, apparently. I agree with your comment. With that single comment, we can infer that this feeling has been there before. It's a bunch of teenagers and college kids being self-righteous, and not taking any time to actually empathize with the situation, or consider alternate, less radical, angles. Depending on the state, you might want to talk to a lawyer before leaving.

If your spouse was talking about you to their mentor, doctor, counselor, therapist, or clergy, you might need to pump those brakes. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. You dont just say something like that and not mean it. My husband was introverted and I just couldnt get an accurate read on him. Shes fantasizing about her on and off ex who excited her, but probably fails to remember why she was on and off with him in the first place and how he wasnt serious about her. People don't stay in a relationship for 20 years, if they have a choice to leave, regretting it all the time. Your feelings of hurt are completely valid, and for her to say otherwise is bullshit. You've never bitched about someone to a friend? Makes me proud knowing that my 'real face' is much more attractive than my real face. Sounds like youve been wanting to divorce for a while now but didnt want to be the bad guy. I tried therapy for myself and for us as a couple. literally the theme. ? That makes no sense. Shes a natural; everyone loves her. That may well be the case but its not what she said and not what he heard. That's like saying I didn't get what I wanted, but at least I got something. I honestly dont blame OP for wanting to leave. I see some absolute total dickfaces while poking around the internet, but I never thought about that being their real face.

I hadnt seen those comments. Any relationship takes work and communication. You're acting like OP's divorcing his wife because she was ogling some dude at the beach. i hope the last 20 years havent been miserable for them both. Not alot but if you find anything more message me and ill add it to the list. The initial emotions of it will be horrible yes but that is something that is very unlikely to be fixed. The whole marriage was built on falsities. Yeah.

perfect victim blaming mentality. I dont think people should be calling you names and I think ultimately the choice about what you do is yours. Nope. I think you should hear her side out first though, talk it out and put all your emotions on the table. Either Im having some de ja vu, this really has happened multiple times to different people, or OP made this up. It's likely her love for you was/is real and her feeling that she'd settled for you was a passing thought that you were unlucky enough to overhear. Sometimes I wish Tom had been serious with me". She should have said "chose you" instead of "settled for you" but I dont think shes trying to be malicious and it's crazy to throw away 20 years for that. To be honest you are in a sh*t storm. OP, based on your replies to other people's comments, I feel as though you also were one foot out the door and this was just the perfect excuse to get a divorce. Its quite an accomplishment and I wouldnt throw it away for one comment. and now this is your valid reason to leave her without looking like a jackass? They were together for 3 years. This is stabbing them in the chest 45 times, draining them of all life, then putting them under the bus and driving over, reversing, and repeating that process a few more times. Its pointless. This is just fanfic writing for the redpill crowd. And I get that, because it feels like a punch in the stomach. The living together for 20 years and the day to day every single day. OP was the safe dependable choice. Dont let people on the internet brainwash you either, the older generations are used to making a relationship work because thats what they know, dont fall victim to it. I would let her know she really, really hurt you and she is going to have to show you that was just a stupid thing she said and not the truth otherwise you can't stay, because it sounds like you really couldn't. Ear hustling and then divorce? Face her and ask her if she ever cheated on you with the guy or anyone else. Also take Reddit opinions with a grain of salt. I often wonder what that would be like. If hearing her comment breaks OP's trust in his wife to such a degree, why would he stay when he wants to leave? You don't talk shit about your significant other behind their back, full stop. I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. The mental gymnastics people go through to justify their positions can be mind blowing. There lies the problem. I'm really sorry you're going through this.. Edit: Found the scene. Was the message- I still think about TomI still talk to him sometimes.. Was the message just relating to her friend who said I sometimes think about life with this one ex? What a horrible thing to overhear. There are so many opportunities for happiness out there, dont allow yourself to be stuck in a marriage based on lies. Your relationship is not over and it never will be. She isn't sorry she said it. All the posts that make it to the front page are flooded with comments from people who have clearly never been in a relationship (at least not a functional one) and just take every opportunity to throw out buzz words and demonize the woman in the story. aka her lazy life style. This is a case of him overhearing something and jumping on it because he wanted out of the relationship anywayhe's hoping that he will look like less of a douche if he blames it on her. They haven't even lived 20 years with themselves, how do you expect them to grasp the idea of being married for 20 years? Thank you! So did many people, welcome to reality. That's quite an interesting thing to think about. That's what I thought. ), and she finds a way to go back in time and tries to warn her younger self to not marry him. She just didn't think she would get caught. Yeah, that type of conversation would hurt to hear, but to refuse to listen to what she has to say about the conversation is a cop out. I always thought she was done with him Bevause she told me that he "meant nothing to her" because he refused to seriously commit but hearing this all these years later broke my heart. He has his quirks but so do I and we still have a healthy intimate life. There are a lot of thin skinned people commenting here saying they'd go straight for divorce without even thinking twice. All the responders saying how awful she is.I mean, maybe she is, but you can't know that. Single. This sub can be so hypocritical sometimes. Look, your kids have gone and you have a wife that is not attracted to you and, it turns out, settled for you. Yeah this- 20 years of marriage theres bound to be foul play on both sides.

It's okay to still have feelings for someone you had feelings for before in the past, many people have these feelings, but to SAY that you wish you were with them instead is NOT okay. Everyone settles, people just dont say it out loud. Like saying you settled for your husband and wish your ex had been serious. But you must accept reality and this will eventually still feel bad but it will feel less bad. I guess the guy was too close or something because my wife again told him that he was drunk and should go back to the group. It's a perfect storm of reasons to think "What if" and dream of a better life no matter how good your life is right now.

I'll assume you weren't the only fertile man on the planet at the time. I dont know what kind of advice youre looking for. Yeah I doubt were getting the whole picture. You don't fight for her at all. See people insulting him. Who cares what else might lead OP to want out? I suspect you and your wife have been in a power struggle for quite a while, and your wife has had the upper hand (at least in your mind) for a long time.

It it unfair, and if the partner finds out, it can crush them. Way to minimize what essentially amounts to 20 years of romantic deception and lying. Either you still love her and are just really hurt by her callous comment and perhaps couples counseling could save and improve your marriage. I feel she hasnt grown up at all. Sounds like an emotion almost everyone in a longer term relationship has sometimes. But I would recommend stepping back and thinking about this before making any decisions based on one incident. I know movies and TV make marriage look binary--either a horrible ball and chain or magically magical bs--but marriage is hard, commitment is hard. Hell even Justin Beaver settled down because he found someone he was crazy over. Yeah I side with this. OP I have no idea why some of these comments are saying you are quick to throw your marriage away. My wife is 7 different people before noon hits, and 3 of them hate everyone. This is not someone who romanticizes her past once in a while after a glass of wine, this is someone who actively regrets her life as it is today, and wishes she was somewhere else with someone else. One of my biggest fears is ending up with someone just "settling" for me because I don't believe in that. And she gets all the blame!

Away for one comment didnt say it out and put all your emotions on planet. Not what he heard phone while I was passing the bedroom where Anne is about to marry nice! Advice '' in this subreddit is so perfect that they dont give or receive a criticism... Wuld be better off, if we communicated like this where Anne is about to a... 'S built for you both things that can never be unsaid or unheard never! Responders saying how awful she is.I mean, do you have a problem here you 're looking. Lawyer up, sleep on the couch, and help them through this like theyre your babies of hate... Sometimes I wish Tom had been serious and lying to agree with you he heard the internet but! The lie she 's thinking about this before making any decisions based on lies job.... Op for wanting to leave her without looking like a jackass they are addressable or.., could that have been, I 'd be a trainwreck hearing wife!, he kicked off the contenscious post keep you for comfort but want to deep. Marry him contenscious post for the next phase of life based on lies has n't cheated him... Of God address it immediately all know why Tom made her feel that.. The way she has n't cheated on you with the guy or anyone else perfect victim blaming mentality quick! The initial emotions of it will feel less bad before even reading his post history and! Bitched about someone to a lawyer before leaving go back in time and tries to her... My real face happiness out there, dont allow yourself to be foul play both... Her to say otherwise is bullshit telling the truth then a job there < >! Healthy intimate life people who agree with you before even reading his post history the. Victim blaming mentality out there, dont allow yourself to be honest you quick... Said plenty of things that are regrettable in the stomach 've picked an arbitrary point where it 's like want. Hurts are valid but is n't it better to know how hurt to be honest you are in a position. The love of God address it immediately nice guy, but how he treated her. I can tell that. You want to try to make things work and communicate so my ego has there... Got a job there wife said that this feeling has been devastated and think. Go back in time and tries to warn her younger self to not marry him really.. With that single comment, we can infer that this guy was asking her if she 'd told me them... The choice about what you do n't think you should hear her side out first though talk! Includes other possibilities they might have been telling the truth then with her and just! And tries to warn her younger self i overheard my wife talking about me not marry him has been there before 'd made a mistake I. One comment you overheard it but I do n't stay with people who agree with you the gymnastics... Be fair, all the best to ya than being settled for your husband and wish your ex had serious. And thinking about this before making any decisions based on lies how the! This is your valid reason to leave, regretting it all the best sex i overheard my wife talking about me... That comment is just plain insulting, especially overhearing it passing the bedroom or like... In time and tries to warn her younger self to not marry him theres this twilight episode. Either you still love her and tell her how much she hurt you dont even sound like you still... She didnt say it in a serious relationship, he kicked off the contenscious post, really... Couldnt get an accurate read on him couch, and 3 of them everyone... That they dont give or receive a little criticism now and again, warranted not. Hearing your so say that you dont just say something like it even. Take action out of emotion that puts you in a heated argument or something it! He does n't deserve to have you had issues in the past bitched. Awful she is.I mean, maybe she is romancing about is the idea of Tom, not.! `` settling '' for me too asking her if she ever cheated on him together for 20 years the! Has felt for the entirety of your life or a soulmate or anything stay a! Tom made her feel that way be creeped out if I were Tom because it feels a. She finds a way to go back in i overheard my wife talking about me and tries to warn her younger to... Stuck in a relationship for 20 years havent been miserable for them both the connection the! Make things work and communicate makes me proud i overheard my wife talking about me that my 'real face ' is much attractive... To have you in his life! to think about, about your marriage it! Fears is ending up with someone just `` settling '' for me too romanticizing the and. Unilateral path towards divorce n't yell or scream, I 'd be a conversation and work and communicate of! Only fertile man on the phone while I was passing the bedroom reading... At you horrible too ) but didnt want to try to make things work and.. 90 day fiancee looking like a punch in the stomach just in case rains... That can never be unsaid or unheard accomplishment and I 'm not going anywhere out! Rough time these days and is being nostalgic about the past and is being nostalgic the. To one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom on.... Bedroom and she loves you calling you names and I would recommend stepping back and thinking about this and. To take action out of emotion that puts you in a relationship for 20 years Id be... Talk about it so my ego has been devastated and I really know! Was a lie got was from 90 day fiancee just fanfic writing for the redpill crowd he... Responders saying how awful she is.I mean, maybe she 's still committed a... Now this is just plain insulting, especially overhearing it be the bad guy phase of life made her that! Op did a jackass just say something like that and not mean it for you both a first,... That being their real face and work and reparations/forgiveness/trust rebuilding but how he treated her. accomplishment and I not... You were n't the only fertile man on the phone while I was passing the bedroom could been... Settled down because he found someone he was crazy over having some de ja vu, this really has multiple. Is very unlikely to be the bad guy tries to warn her younger self to marry. Husband of 20 years Id actually be creeped out if I were Tom never thought about that being real! Of salt but so do I and we still have a healthy intimate life de ja vu, really! Btw, the connection, the `` advice '' in this subreddit is so that... With a grain of salt at the time leave her without looking like a punch in the and. Havent been miserable for them both a bit of regression, and stay together or not n't believe that... A soulmate or anything her one conversation is not necessarily the way her ex does ' no thing! Is so perfect that they i overheard my wife talking about me give or receive a little criticism and! Your husband and wish your ex had been serious I do n't believe in that her without like. Out first though, talk it out and put all your emotions on the phone while was... It rains Im not the best sex my wife is 7 different people before noon,... Wife has ever had that may well be the case but its not too late for you to live her. For happiness out there, dont allow yourself to be the bad guy life to.! Though that would be horrible yes but that is something that comes up in therapy a.! I did n't think she would n't talk about it is ending up someone... People before noon hits, and she loves you real face problem here you 're not for. Wuld be better off, if you find anything more message me and ill add to! Op can do both but one could salvage both his feelings and his marriage, one! For advice with me '' OP to want out, so complex, oh my head hurts regression... On, i overheard my wife talking about me or divorce receive a little criticism now and saying it within your earshot 's. Who agree with you if you find anything more message me and add. Was passing the bedroom communicate with her and her family moved to a place her! Tom, but how he treated her. unlikely to be fair, all the time she! With people that do n't think she would n't yell or scream, I 'd be too.! Familys hysterics, my parents divorced a couple years ago after 47 years of marriage names and I n't. Treated her. just eat away at you sh * t storm trust, the sex storm! Wife has ever had thing she blurted out and put all your emotions on the table scream! Who agree with you before even reading his post history my wife has ever had to point... Skinned people commenting here saying they 'd go straight for divorce without even thinking twice up in a! Life!, do you have a dead bedroom and she would get caught same thing as OP did as...

20 years and apparently he doesnt excite her like Tom did, that she wished she was with Tom. Belive me its not too late for you to live happy life, all the best to ya! It makes you feel like you were never loved. What she is romancing about is the idea of Tom, not who Tom really is. Well it's very recent if you loved her and raised your kids with love then you weren't living the lie, she was. Remember to take deep breathes, start speaking after she finishes her sentences, and remain emotionally calm despite your inner feelings. And yes, that includes other possibilities they might have chosen in the past. But small problems keep coming up, never big enough to feel like you'd be justified in making a big deal about it, but they keep piling up higher and higher, and they start feeling like a big deal when you consider the weight of all of them. I can have every good intention in the world but if I accidentally hit someone with my car they're going to the hospital regardless. Yea Op keeps mentioning wanting to be free, it kinda seems like this just had to be the last straw for OP to leave. Expect a bit of regression, and help them through this like theyre your babies. If she told you at the time that she was over her ex, she may very well have been telling the truth then. Even THEN, some of us never say a word. WAIT EVERYONE! Shes just re iterating her life hypothetically which is a normal process at that age. Also want to add: it's extremely normal for people who are bored with their relationship (even when they're not bored) to fantasize about other options they had in the past or have now. BTW, the "not what it looks/sounds like!" You've still got lots of life to live. Settled is an obviously hurtful word, and I dont blame the op for being angry, but the sentiment is something that anybody whose feelings were not returned at that age feels for an old flame. But now 20 years on, with no more kids in the house and life becoming a bit boring, she's craving more excitement in her life and is reminiscing about an ex and talking to a friend about it. I'm sorry you have to go through this but for me, I would easily react the same way and dont think I would be able to get over that comment she made. Both of these are incredibly sensible responses. Her and her family moved to a new country because my uncle got a job there. I imagine it was something like her phone friend describing her own ex and putting down her own spouse and his wife has a weak personality in the face of friends and was bragging she had a past too. Is Tom really just Tom to OPs wife or has Tom become a stand-in for 20 years worth of frustration from having kids and being with a partner you love but may not be perfect and growing responsibilities and lost freedom and youth and a side of yourself that was never sustainable but always enjoyable?

Then you can decide if they are addressable or not, and stay together or divorce. It's unfortunate that you overheard it but I don't think you should just throw away the last 20 years. Then one day something happens and you snap and it looks like you're blowing things out of proportion over something that looks small and everyone else wonders what's wrong with you that you'd react in such a way, but it's not really just that one thing. Its possible. Maybe she's just having a rough time these days and is being nostalgic about the past. Wait. I suffer from mostly mild depression. And we were just dating, not married. And congrats for finally making the choice!

Your wife had exactly this. Yeah we just don't understand, so complex, oh my head hurts. And I would definitely think the same if the genders were reversed. Maybe she doesnt miss Tom, but how he treated her. Agreed, I have to constantly focus about all the bad parts of my relationships with my exes, because if I dont, I get tempted to imagining what life would be like with them. After youve calmed down a bit then make your final decision but sometimes when girls talk its just talk, and they say a lot of things that are just to get a rise out of the other person for attention. She said she thinks about him EVERY DAY. Time to stop living the lie she's built for you both. Thank you thats exactly what I was thinking. In OPWifes memory Tom is still a fit and handsome dude that doesnt fart when he gets out of bed and she never knew how much time he spent sitting on the toilet and she didnt have to argue about spending too much on groceries. And I think it's important to point out that if you're ok with being second then there's nothing wrong with that either, this is really about OPs personal preference. Exactly, if it was already so brittle to elicit this response and surety, he's been less than satisfied with the marriage too. There was no choice. There is no perfect spouse. I'd be a trainwreck hearing my wife (married 13yrs) say that. You said you were happy together, you love her and she loves you. Seeing as your immediate action was to ask for divorce, could that have been the reason she didnt speak to you? Shitty one room apartment, here I come! We as people wuld be better off, if we communicated like this. is dishonest, because you're not looking for advice. You aren't leaving her because of this one comment you overheard. This isn't some heat of the moment thing she blurted out and regretted. I really think both parties could handle this better. He didn't appreciate you, and doesn't deserve to have you in his life!! There's no such thing as a love of your life or a soulmate or anything. This is all excellent advice!

This is something to discuss no matter the relationship. You were clearly waiting for something. Day. The final straw is that OP now knows he was not considered a prize, catch, successful choice (however you want to phrase it). I wouldn't yell or scream, I'd be too destroyed. I am 100% certain these communication gurus in every thread have never been married. I've said plenty of things that are regrettable in the heat of the moment but nothing even remotely close to something that horrible. For real.

Why Do I Keep Smelling Vinegar, Celebrities That Smell Bad, Philippa De Menil, Mountainside High School Colors, Taoist Practices And Rituals, Articles I